The Three Stooges and the Ultimate Deal™

US Middle East diplomacy is in good hands. (via Flickr)

In shocking news, US efforts to secure the Ultimate Deal™ have ended, at least for now, without success.

Plan B has also been tried and reportedly discarded and we are now in a diplomatic vacuum. Who would have thought?

The Ultimate Deal™ was hotly anticipated last month, not least because of the crack team behind it: Jared Kushner, senior adviser and son-in-law to President Donald Trump, Jason Greenblatt, special US representative for international negotiations and a former settlement guard, and David “From the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea” Friedman, the US ambassador to Israel.

This triumphant triumvirate, as we have reported previously on these pages, is uniquely suited to the task at hand.

That this trio of high-minded, even-handed and well-seasoned diplomats – a trio we like to call the DC Trinity around these parts (but which one is Wonder Woman?) – could not crack the Palestinian-Israeli nut, shows just how tough it is.

Some Palestinians, it seems, really are insistent on some kind of solution that includes a modicum of freedom, justice and self-determination in line with internationally enshrined rights as the solution to their “issue.” Rights of refugees? The right to resist military occupation? Jerusalem? Surely some mistake.

Kushner et al – or the Avengers: Prime (but which one is Thor?) – therefore concluded that the obstinate Palestinian Authority head Mahmoud Abbas, so doggedly clinging to security cooperation with Israel, was the primary obstacle to peace.

After all, why would the Palestinian people, on whose pulse this talented troika so clearly have their fingers, care about abstract nouns when they could have “modern infrastructure, job training and economic stimulus.”

Plan B

The grand plan is thus yet to be unveiled (much to the disappointment of the Palestinian people). This despite the magnanimity of Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel’s prime minister, who has been bending over backwards to meet Palestinian demands by enacting a law that outlaws any but Jewish claims to the land.

He even generously offered that Palestinians could call what they get once they’ve acceded to all Israeli demands “what you want.”

Enter Plan B. Like all great statesmen, our intrepid threesome – affectionately monikered the Galaxy Trio (but which one is Vapor Man?) – had been working all along on a back-up plan.

This plan would see economic deliverance for Palestinians in Gaza if only they would abandon their “morally bankrupt” attempts to redress 70 years of injustice that have left some 70 percent of them as impoverished refugees, denied recourse to normal international law that stipulates their return and compensation.

But rather than embrace Plan B – or Rebuilding Gaza Inc. – what did Hamas in Gaza do? Unleash a wave of terror on Israel (which only wants peace and the rule of law, which is precisely why it has restricted Palestinians’ ability to access its courts): Terror rockets, terror mortars, terror unarmed protests, terror kites, terror tunnels, terror children playing terror football on the terror beach, terror medics, terror artists.

Just like Abbas’ dogged insistence on the peace process and security coordination in the West Bank is holding the Palestinian people back from reaping the benefits of peace, so the Hamas leadership’s rejection of the peace process and security coordination with Israel (and Egypt) is holding the Palestinian people back from reaping the benefits of peace.

A diplomatic vacuum

The conclusion is inescapable: Whatever is going wrong, it is the fault of the Palestinian leadership, in Gaza and in the West Bank. Having demonstrated this beyond reasonable doubt, what now for Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, AKA the Powerpuff Girls? Have they exhausted their diplomatic superpowers?

They’ve certainly gone the extra mile, even stooping to contribute to the “Amazon Washington Post” and “fake news” CNN (there’s Wonder Woman!) in their heroic efforts to secure Peace in the Middle East ©.

Some might suggest that this talented triptych have no clue what they are doing.

To counter such unkind comments, perhaps Huey, Dewey and Louie could do worse then heed the words of Uncle Donald: WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH.

Or maybe some other words.

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Well done, Omar Karmi. Would that this piece had maximum exposure at this time when Israel is hogging the newsfeed with the story of their heroic rescue of the 'white helmets' in a blatant effort to deflect what it is doing to Palestinians.

Omar Karmi

Omar Karmi is an associate editor for The Electronic Intifada and former Jerusalem and Washington, DC, correspondent for The National newspaper.