Thaer Halahleh’s letter to his daughter: “My Beloved Lamar…Forgive me”

The Ministry of Prisoners’ Affairs received a letter from hunger striking Palestinian prisoner Thaer Halahleh addressed to his two year old daughter Lamar, most likely passed on by one of Addameer’s lawyers Mona Neddad during her last visit to the Ramle prison hospital on Thursday, May 10.

In the latest installation of prisoner profiles for Al-Akhbar English News, I wrote how Lamar who was born while Thaer was imprisoned only knows her father through pictures and posters.

“A month later on July 19, Thaer became a father to baby Lamar but only got to meet her months later on October 9, the first visit allowed him since his last arrest and the only time his family were able to see him. Lamar is almost 2 years old now, and knows her father through pictures. She goes to sleep with a photo of her father tucked beneath her cheek. She is convinced that there is a wedding every day because of the solidarity tent set up outside the family home in the Hebron village of Kharaas. Her mother Shireen cries privately when Lamar insists on wearing a new dress every day.”

Below is a translated version of Thaer’s letter, by Jalal Najjar:

“My Beloved Lamar, forgive me because the occupation took me away from you, and took away from me the pleasure of witnessing my firstborn child that I have always prayed to God to see, to kiss, to be happy with. It is not your fault; this is our destiny as Palestinian people to have our lives and the lives of our children taken away from us, to be apart from each other and to have a miserable life. Nothing is complete in our lives because of this unjust occupation that is lurking on every corner of our lives turning it into eeriness, a continuous pursuit and torture. Despite the fact that I was deprived from holding you and hearing your voice, from watching you grow up and move around in the house and in your bed, and that I was deprived of my role as a human and a father with my daughter, your existence has given me all the power and hope, and when I saw your picture with your mother in the sit-in tent, you were so calm staring in wonder at people, as if you were looking for your father, looking at my pictures that are hung inside the tent asking in silence why is my father not coming back. I felt that you are with me, in my sentiment and inside my mind, as if you are a part of my heartbeats, steadfast and the blood that flows in my veins, opening all doors for me spreading clear skies around me, and unleashing your free childish voice after this long silence.”

“Lamar my love: I know that you are not to be blamed and that you don’t yet understand why your father is going through this battle of hunger strike for the 75th day, but when you grow up you will understand that the battle of freedom is the battle of going back to you, so that I can never be taken away from you again or to be deprived of your smile or seeing you, so that the occupier will never kidnap me again from you.”

“When you grow up you will understand how injustice was brought upon your father and upon thousands of Palestinians whom the occupation has put in prisons and jail cells, shattering their lives and future for no reason other then their pursuit of freedom, dignity and independence. You will know that your father did not tolerate injustice and submission, and that he would never accept insult and compromise, and that he is going through a hunger strike to protest against the Jewish state that wants to turn us into humiliated slaves without any rights or patriotic dignity.”

“My beloved Lamar keep your head up always and be proud of your father, and thank everyone who supported me, who supported the prisoners in their struggle, and don’t be afraid for God is with us always, and God never lets down people who have faith and patience. We are righteous, and right will always prevail against injustice and wrong doers.”

“Lamar my love: that day will come, and I will make it up to you for everything, and tell you the whole story, and your days that will follow will be more beautiful, so let your days pass now and wear your prettiest clothes, run and then run again in the gardens of your long life, go forward and forward for nothing is behind you but the past, and this is your voice I hear all the time as a melody of freedom”.

UPDATE

Addameer confirmed that Thaer’s letter was not passed to his family by them. The letter was first published by Ma’an News Agency.

Comments

This is so sad,i am so sorry for you all i cant beleive the world will let this happen ,it has really effected me i cauld never forget you or your family Please be strong i beleive you can do it and PALESTINE will be free one day ALLAH BLESS YOU ALL

My daily problems pale in comparison to the gut wrenching choices Palestinian people must make. Such an eloquent sharing. My thoughts are with him.

Salam inshallah we can help you guys in a way that will change your life we also love u guys and we are always there for you b/c we are your family

Very sad and touching indeed. I wish that his words could be printed on t-shirts for the world to see the Israili's injustice that Palastinians have to suffer everyday. My prayers goes to Tha2ir and all the Palastinian prisoners who had spent their lives not knowing the reason behind their imprisonment.

This is so sad to hear and it brings to memory all the prisoners in the world who are NOT allowed the luxury of sending mails to their loved ones. For instance, Gilad Shalit and other Israelis that were not allowed any contact.

This is beyond inhumane....beyond heartbreaking. I'm so disappointed in humanity...may he soon hold his daughter....I'm so sorry, on behalf of the USA.

I wish all the people in the us are human and kind like you.. Peace be upon you sister

Feel so ashamed reading this! Our problems is so scarce in comparison and we complain all the time.

MAY ALLAH GRANT THEM THE FREEDOM THEY NEED.
AMEEN.

Hi Lamar if you ever get to read this, be sure that you and your father's story affected and touched soo many lives, not just us Palestinians, but everyone with a decent heart and human values. As Palestinians it is always implemented on us as an obligation to our patriotism and need for freedom to deal and live with such hardships and circumstances. My father was in Israeli jail for ten years.. Alhamdillah he was finally released and I wasn't even born then but his health has suffered physically and emotionally since then and we have never been able to forget his agony and torture in Israeli prison. We thank Allah that he was finally released and cherish our time with him and are proud of his and every other Palestinians sacrifice for Palestine! Be strong, have faith and patience fa ina Allah ma3 il sabireen. We are praying for you, and all the Palestinian prisoners and their families! Allah yihmeekom w yisabirkom.