Samira sits in the candlelight of a house in Maghazi refugee camp, central Gaza.

A mother of five sons and two daughters, she and her family had lived in the northern Gaza area of Jabaliya. When Jabaliya came under a major Israeli attack in recent weeks, the family were forced to leave their home.

“The bombing was both terrifying and chaotic,” Samira said. “The targeting seemed random, with the Israeli occupation bombing homes with people still inside them. We never intended to leave our homes. But when the occupation bombed our neighbors’ house and our house suffered severe damage, we had no choice but to move.”

“The situation in Jabaliya was disastrous,” she added. “We lacked electricity, water and cooking gas. And we were completely cut off from communications and the internet.”

Samira left Jabaliya along with her husband, two sons, a daughter-in-law and her 3-year-old grandson Adam.

They initially traveled by car, then by donkey and cart and then on foot until they reached Netzarim, formerly one of Israel’s settlements in Gaza. The Israeli forces now waging a genocidal war have set up a checkpoint there.

“There was a large number of people in a state of panic,” Samira said. “The occupation had tanks surrounding us and the soldiers were aiming their guns at us. The soldiers hurled insults at us. The language they used was offensive.”

The scene was extremely distressing.

“I saw bodies along the road,” Wissam – Samira’s daughter-in-law – said. “The smell was very bad.”

“We saw the belongings of displaced people – bags, mattresses and blankets – thrown on the road. The occupation had forced people to leave their belongings behind.”

“Overcome with terror”

Before setting out on their journey, Wissam’s husband Muhammad had told her to remain alongside him at all times, feeling that would provide a degree of safety.

“Unfortunately, the occupation’s soldiers arrested Muhammad,” Wissam said.

When a soldier took Muhammad into detention, “I was overcome with terror,” Wissam said. “I nearly lost consciousness.”

As Muhammad was taken away by the Israeli forces, Wissam held their son Adam in her arms.

“Muhammad urged me not to cry, even when the urge was overwhelming,” Wissam said. “I couldn’t express how I felt as I was afraid that the Israeli soldier might shoot me or my son.”

Wissam spoke of how “I saw young Palestinians being arrested by the occupation’s forces without any apparent reason. They were forced to strip.”

Muhammad’s detention is exacerbating the family’s problems.

“I cannot find the words to describe how I felt when I heard my son had been arrested,” Samira said. “I keep asking myself questions about him? Is he afraid? Is he able to find any warmth now that the weather is cold.”

Many other men have been arrested by the Israelis as they moved south with their families.

Samira tried to help a woman whose husband was arrested. The woman had two infants.

“I carried her youngest son and her backpack,” said Samira. “The woman just collapsed. She was crying bitterly.”

“The occupation harassed us constantly. They would order us to kneel, then after a minute, order us to stand. Later, they would tell us to walk. And that would be followed by another order to kneel. It went on and on.”

When Samira and her family eventually got through the checkpoint, they went to an area south of Wadi Gaza. From there, they took a donkey and cart to a relative’s home in Maghazi refugee camp.

As well as having Muhammad taken into detention, Samira has been unable to keep regular contact with another son named Kamal. He works as a nurse in the Indonesian hospital, northern Gaza.

“These are the most difficult days of my life,” said Samira.

Every time Wissam hears a knock on the door of the house where she is now staying in Maghazi, “I hope it’s my husband Muhammad returning to us after being released by the occupation.”

“My son Adam is always asking about his father,” she said. “I find myself at a loss for words.”

Aseel Mousa is a journalist based in Gaza.

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