Palestine traffic report

As a service to newly arrived diplomatic and media visitors in Palestine trying to make sense of a confusing new road map, BNN provides this helpful and up-to-date traffic report.

  • Increased diplomatic traffic expected at historic regional intersection of Change and Opportunity. Expect delayed delivery of justice.
  • Multi-car pile-ups on settlement by-pass roads due to insufficient information on recently issued road maps.
  • Several reports of diplomatic vehicles crashing unexpectedly into a large wall near Tul Karam; several drivers complained it was not adequately marked on their new road maps.
  • Drunk (on power) Driving Alert: Watch out for large bulldozers careening wildly near main Rafah intersections.
  • IDF announces that all traffic fatalities to be classified as “road kill,” and thus not IDF responsibility, as soon as new road maps go into effect.
  • Alert to refugees: All return routes blocked indefinitely.