blog-BNN-David-Silverman-Getty-Images.jpg

(David Silverman / Getty Images)

al Bassaleh

All the news that isn’t (satire and humor)

Cartoon: Defensible Borders

10 August 2006

The quest for defensible borders has been an axiom of Israeli governments since 1948. Defensible borders for Israel has been explicitly backed by Washington since the Reagan administration. The complete demilitarization of all countries around Israel and around those countries as well will not be enough. Defensible borders in the end would require Israel to extend its borders around the continents.

Video: Lebanon Telethon

4 August 2006

The narrator of this spot exclaims, “I was watching the news with my brother John and it was ba-ad! Israel was bombing the civilians and infrastructure of Lebanon! So we decided to do something. We decided to have a telethon to tell Israel not to bomb Lebanon. We called our favorite celebrities — Goldie Hawn, Michelle Kwan, Kofi Annan, Cheech and Chong, Pokemon, Celine Dion, Gengis Khan (maybe not Genghis Khan) …”

Photo of the Day: Entry Denied

Najeeb Al-Anbarri
11 July 2006

Photo of the Day is a BNN feature which offers a photograph on a day, and calls it “Photo of the Day”. This is not to imply that this is a regular feature, nor that this photo is truly the mother of all photos for the day in question. Usual disclaimers apply. In this day’s photo, we hit on the theme of Israel’s recent announcements to ban foreign passport holders from entering the West Bank and Gaza Strip. If it’s not one thing, with these folks, it’s another.

Unlikely Clippings: "Israel Comes Clean"

10 July 2006

At times such as the current crisis in Gaza, BNN’s hard working editorial team dips into our file cabinet of unlikely clippings, a magical place where things you never thought you would see are seen, and things you thought you would never hear are heard. In this clipping, from the mysterious and glittering office metal storage box in which the jinn dance and frolic, and from which the sound of childrens’ laughter echos through the worm hole of possible futures, Israel comes clean. Delightfully plucked from the tiny fingers of the filing cabinet jinn by BNN’s Sarrah Al-Kiyaas.

Israel Blows Up World

16 June 2006

Israeli Mossad agents used too many explosives in a Gaza car bombing today and blew up the world. Israeli Major General Yoav Galant told reporters that only 12 armed militants were killed in the blast, but Pentagon experts believe the death toll could be much higher. “The Pentagon is a biased, anti-Semitic radical left wing organization,” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said in response to the allegations, “Their findings cannot be taken seriously.”

Poll: 68% of American Christians would refuse to live in same building as an American Jew

23 March 2006

From the BNN Department of Change One or Two Words in an Israeli Media Article and See How it Flies Then. Sixty-eight percent of Americans would refuse to live in the same apartment building as an American Jew, according to the results of an annual poll released Wednesday by the Center for the Struggle Against Racism. The “Index of Racism Towards American Jews,” conducted by Geocartographia, revealed only 26 percent of Americans would agree to live with Jewish neighbors in the same building.

As crises mount, EU's Solana sky high on travel perks

22 February 2006

EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana marked a breakthrough for his diplomatic efforts in the Middle East when he achieved Gold status in the British Airways Executive Club, a popular frequent flyer, program on Thursday, reports BNN Europe correspondent Agathe de Pauwer. As EU policy failures in the Middle East mount, Solana is racking up massive amounts of travel perks. A back-slapping chum of Israel’s leaders, Solana is also new member of the El Al frequent flyer program. “As Middle East tension mounts,” a giddy Solana said, “there is nothing to relieve the stress like a shiatswe massage and a facial scrub before a flight.”

New Basketball Rules in the Middle East

7 February 2006

The International Basketball Federation (FIBA) has directed its Middle East commission to implement fifteen new rule changes from March 1. Regarding the use of a smaller ball for midget basketball in China, the commision for midget basketball events will consider the matter in April before the Central Board takes a final decision, according to a statement from Michael Lebanon, FIBA secretary ceneral. The statement said rule changes proposed by the Technical Commission in December 2005 were accepted by FIBA Central Board. The new rules include the right for Israelis to play on both sides of the court. Palestinians are only allowed on their side.

Graphic of the Day: Variety Cover

Najeeb Al-Anbarri
28 January 2006

BNN offers a “Graphic of the Day” inspired by the short comedic piece, Browntown, written by Sam Younis. Graphic of the Day is a BNN feature which offers a graphic on a day, and calls it “Graphic of the Day”. It is very similar to our “Photo of the Day” feature. This is not to imply that this is a regular feature, nor that this graphic is truly the mother of all graphics for the day in question. Usual disclaimers apply.

Photo of the Day: Spotted on a noticeboard in Columbia University

Najeeb Al-Anbarri
24 December 2005

Photo of the Day is a BNN feature which offers a photograph on a day, and calls it “Photo of the Day”. This is not to imply that this is a regular feature, nor that this photo is truly the mother of all photos for the day in question. Usual disclaimers apply.

Pages

Subscribe to al Bassaleh