and padded with an excess of visual stimulii for the ADD-plagued MTV generation"
A REPORT FROM OUR CNN CORRESPONDENT
Atlanta -- According to our on the ground reporter in Atlanta, Palestinian residents in the Gaza Strip claim that Israeli troops allegedly "blew up" a "residential" building on April 30th, "killing" two Palestinians and "injuring" another three. According to Israeli sources, the allegations were a complete lie. "The Palestinians completely refused to participate in our investigation," General Chief of Staff of the Israeli Self-defense Forces Shaul Mofaz told CNN. "We went to the hospital and attempted to interview the two civilians that Palestinians claimed were killed as the result of this attack on a terrorist headquarters. They refused to comment. What more can we do?"
"When we went to the scene of the incident," reported Mofaz (pictured below left), "We noticed that children's toys had been cynically burnt round the edges and placed in the rubble of this building. They even claimed a 10-year-old child living in this apartment complex was critically injured. They probably moved him from somewhere else."
The alleged "attack" follows seven months of violent Palestinian rioting against what they see as the Israeli "occupation" of "their" land. "These attacks against civilian homes are not acceptable in a civilised world," said Palestinian negotiator Saib Erekat, railing angrily against what he called "Israeli violence".
Yesterday's Israeli response against the Palestinian terrorist apartment complex happened in retaliation to an ineffectually thrown molotov cocktail, hurled by a Palestinian demonstrator from 70 yards away, two days ago.Israeli sources noted that the demonstrator was still limping following what he claimed was an "Israeli shooting" while sitting in his back garden eating dinner last month. "The Arab probably shot himself. The Palestinian Authority always sends out these charity cases to the front lines to get media sympathy," commented Mofaz. "I'd like to see the pro-Arab New York Times report that."
Palestinian bystanders in the Israeli Gaza Strip say that the army's response was one of several on what they called "refugee camps" in what they believe is "their land" over what they claim was "the last several months."
According to the 12 anonymous Israeli security sources that CNN interviewed for this report, Palestinian violence is on the increase.
"Every day we see 100 attacks on Israeli soldiers who are just trying to do their jobs," reported one source. "Every one of these attacks is life-threatening and we have no option but to precisely target the exact infrastructure that is used to facilitate these crimes against the peaceful Israeli people. In this instance, we fired one warning shot in the air above the building, and it inexplicably exploded and fell down."
RELATED LINKS
CNN accepts no responsibility for its tendency to link to lots of Israeli sites and a few crap Palestinian ones. CNN's on the ground correspondent Najeeb Al-Anbarri contributed to this report from Atlanta.
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 US President Shimon Perez gives a speech to AIPAC about the dangers of foreign influence in Israel's affairs.  Annual meeting of Gazan Young Muslims Association vote 9 to 1 that "Coke Is It".  Despite being a hot babe that no-one in their right mind would shoot, Miss Israel was issued with a flak jacket. Three million Palestinians denied gas masks by Israel during the 1991 Gulf Scud missile crisis were reportedly unimpressed.  Despite a slew of wire service photographs taken on Israel's Independence Day depicting Israeli children being shown how to use grenade launchers and heavy machine guns, an Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman explained to journalists that this was "not at all the same thing as that one photo depicting Palestinian terrorist parents training their children to use AK-47s that we use on our website to demonise Palestinians." |